Sept. 21, 2005 - baby, don't fuck with icicles...
Mar. 30, 2005 - cookies and soy milk just don't cut it
Mar. 07, 2005 - i don't need to pay for dumbass "pre-stressed" jeans - i have a cat
Dec. 06, 2004 - "sausage mcmuffin" is a very good name for a band
Nov. 23, 2004 - get fucked.
Nov. 09, 2004 - marshmallows suck ass.
Nov. 03, 2004 - ...
Oct. 31, 2004 - the complete weekend in pictures
Oct. 28, 2004 - macerroneous - latin for macaroni? or my feelings on a brand of computer?
Oct. 15, 2004 - the worst five dollars and fifteen cents i ever spent
Oct. 12, 2004 - this is fuckin taco town and i'm the mayor, bitch
Oct. 10, 2004 - one should never throw a sacred chicken into the sea or indeed anywhere
Oct. 08, 2004 - shitake tsunami
Oct. 06, 2004 - dynamite with a laserbeam
Oct. 04, 2004 - jesus fucking christ, marijuana is retarded.
Oct. 02, 2004 - i'm sorry i had a bowl cut.
Sept. 29, 2004 - dweebery abounds
Sept. 27, 2004 - mischief!
Sept. 25, 2004 - the finer points of alternative lifestyles as seen through the eyes of an illegal cuban bigot
Sept. 20, 2004 - a formal apology to the creators of "low rise" jeans
Sept. 20, 2004 - oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
2004-09-16 - lord of the dance dance revolution
2004-09-12 - everything i need to know i learned from point break
2004-09-09 - i can do the "lean back". then again, so can any random invalid.
2004-09-05 - the lost art of debate
2003-02-26 - i'll be damned if southern comfort doesn't really cure the common upper respiratory infection
2003-02-15 - the lawnmower man is the worst movie ever made and pierce brosnan is a fucking dildo
2003-02-12 - oh burt reynolds, you came and you gave without taking
2003-02-11 - today's mantra: i am not a tool for being so into "joe millionaire"
2002-11-15 - word.
2002-10-08 - yesterday i told kid nacho "that's just butt-fucking lovely" and it caught us both a little off guard.
2002-09-30 - last night me n roach watched totally funky bear sex on pbs and then we had sex and now i feel kinda weird about the whole ordeal...
2002-09-24 - let's face it. if it's 99 cents, i'm gonna buy it no matter what it is. unless it's at the 99 cent store. then i get picky.
2002-09-24 - despite all the good that princess leia did for the rebel allience and the galaxy, she stlll made out with her brother and for that she will always be an incestuous whore in my book
2002-09-08 - death by gun bullets
2002-09-01 - i won a bumper sticker on ebay that says "my ferret is smarter than your honor student" and, upon reflection, i realized that i just may have crossed that line between ordinary pet ownership and sending out christmas cards with my pets dressed as elves.
2002-08-26 - eat a dick
2002-08-12 - if i was allergic to kiwi...my life wouldn't be much different.
2002-08-06 - of all the stories from our generation, i'm sure the one that will be told for all time is the story of robocop
2002-08-04 - this is in no way a short description of the entry that follows.
2002-08-01 - brokeandoutofbeersville, u.s.a. is a very unhip place to hang out
2002-07-29 - last night, a crazy drunken black dood on the pkwy told me "don't piss on my feet and tell me it's raining when the sun's shining" and i thought it was terribly funny
2002-07-27 - no time to think of something clever now...simpsons is on.
2002-07-25 - oregon is giving london a real run for it's money with it's expertise in the field of burning
2002-07-20 - pokemon has really gone downhill...
2002-07-20 - skrat gets to see billy idol tonite at mandalay bay...i get to sit around drinkin big fizz red pop and watching 'deliverence'
2002-07-16 - you are what you eat...which is why jeff foxworthy doesn't eat funny
2002-07-13 - brandishing a dish of bran
2002-06-25 - the only difference between "therapist" and "the rapist" is a little space
2002-06-17 - that captain morgan's malt liquor beverage stuff tastes like mrs. butterworth's yeast infected snatch
2002-06-12 - bald headed booty whack bitches for all
2002-06-11 - guess who's back...hint: not slim shady
2002-05-31 - building pools across the sand for wreckin fools across the land
2002-05-30 - ready, willing, kain and able
2002-05-28 - the rebellion of the mustela putorius furo
2002-05-28 - you don't wanna fuck with busey, cuz busey will fucking kill you
2002-05-24 - tommy chong was born today in 1938...ask me if i give a fuck.
2002-05-23 - 1 entry found for "babies, dead"
2002-05-23 - attila the nun
2002-05-22 - the fact that carrot top is rich provides concrete evidence that a loving god does not exist
2002-05-22 - i shifted gears, i faced my fears, i cried some tears, i did a lot of heroin
2002-05-21 - this morning my piss smelled like super golden crisp
2002-05-16 - cross yer teas and dot yer eyes
2002-05-16 - life's never black and white for a hermaphrodite
2002-05-16 - if i am guilty of any major religious transgressions on this earth, it is definitely the false idol worship of gary coleman.
2002-05-14 - dr. zaius is attacking my nachos
2002-05-09 - hail lucid fur
2002-05-08 - the revision to my decision on precision incisions.
2002-05-07 - semetic symantics
2002-05-06 - i'm not scared of death...it's dying i got a problem with
2002-05-01 - a pustulent cyst bursting in our midst
2002-04-29 - i am eating my head
2002-04-29 - marmets don't fuck around
2002-04-26 - cornite on the cob
2002-04-25 - when i told rachel i used to live in wisconsin she thought i said "west compton" and confusion/hilarity ensued
2002-04-25 - destroy all monsters
2002-04-24 - people like you like people like you
2002-04-22 - extra! extra! man eating fish eats fish eating man!
2002-04-19 - phil's cat got spayed and all the sudden she isn't quite such a fucking bitch
2002-04-19 - if it wasn't for dementia, i wouldn't have any mentia.
2002-04-18 - corndogs corndogs everywhere but not a drop to drink
2002-04-17 - electric chainsaw commodities
2002-04-16 - reasons hotpockets(tm) rule more than the taliban
2002-04-16 - if it wasn't for disgust, i wouldn't have any gust
2002-04-13 - demonocracy
2002-04-12 - leggo my eggo, fuckmouth
2002-04-11 - the friend of my enemy's enemy's friend is my friendemy
2002-04-11 - the last suburban glass of bourbon
2002-04-10 - you can say a lot about me, but at least my band doesn't sound like "the get up kids" you salad tossing fruitcake...
2002-04-09 - get with the fucking program, ya fuck
2002-04-08 - fuckery abounds
2002-04-03 - fucking ass and taking names
2002-04-01 - crispus attucks fucking rocks my ass like pit's cock
2002-03-28 - so he says "do you love me?" and she says "no! but that's a really nice ski mask!" hahahahaha
2002-03-27 - the #1 site for pedophiles!
2002-03-25 - macaroni not acrimony
2002-03-25 - and now....the boys.
2002-03-22 - my shit done not got tore up
2002-03-20 - venereal (disease) equanox
2002-03-20 - oogachacka etc
2002-03-19 - who are these "ped"s and why are they "x-ing"???
2002-03-15 - if it wasn't for disappointment, i wouldn't have any appointment
2002-03-15 - bling bling
2002-03-13 - puke, puking, puked
2002-03-12 - ...and the parcel is rocked.
2002-03-11 - this just in: mothers and fuckers unite!
2002-03-06 - stuff that sucks
2002-03-05 - humor = non-patriotic
2002-03-01 - i see you've played knifey-spooney before...
2002-02-28 - poppin midgets & pimpin bitches
2002-02-27 - blah blah blah blah blah etc.
2002-02-26 - tampons and horoscopes
2002-02-25 - WWBBD? (what would bat-boy do?)
2002-02-22 - i would gladly pay you tomorrow for a gardenburger today
2002-02-20 - the sound of 28 hands typing
2002-02-19 - winnemucca muthafukka
2002-02-19 - manonam
2002-02-15 - third entry for today
2002-02-15 - late breaking news
2002-02-15 - crayola oblongata
2002-02-14 - tastes more like regular ebola
2002-02-12 - not interesting by any stretch of the imagination
2002-02-09 - laugh, fuckface 101
2002-02-08 - how to not get dropped by the triple m
2002-02-08 - they came from the duck creek
2002-02-07 - mo MxMxM
2002-02-07 - MxMxM
2002-02-06 - diggity diggity indignity part II
2002-02-06 - diggity diggity indignity
2002-02-05 - i am officially not funny
2002-02-04 - sugar free - low sodium
2002-02-01 - wh-wh-wh-what the fuck?
2002-01-31 - how you feel whoop de whoop midget what?
2002-01-31 - ninja, please.
2002-01-29 - .......yup.
2002-01-28 - a short description
2002-01-25 - and one time
2002-01-25 - what a lovely day for an exorcism
2002-01-24 - tequilla mockingbird
2002-01-24 - more chaste than chased
2002-01-23 - tie yer shoe, carabou
2002-01-22 - who's mom? oh yea, your mom.
2002-01-22 - more fetid than feted
2002-01-22 - disclaimer, motherfucker