i just got done typing out the story of thee six string samurais for our web page. i then decided i would like to update. i then decided i don't want to type anymore. i then decided to just put up the story of thee six string samurais.

the story of thee six string samurais

the story of thee six string samurais is one of mystery and intregue, heartbreak and woe, pokemon and hotpockets, nouns and adjectives, that all started on a hot las vegas summer morn'.

reverend toast and the good doctor were in their senior year of high school and like all young men their age, were dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge. as it happened, they strove a bit too far and gained the knowledge that school was totally gay and a waste of time. acting on this epiphany, they stopped attending school and spent their days eating hotpockets, playing pokemon on gameboy, and watching maury povich. as utopian as this lifestyle was, it soon wore thin and the boys searched for other non-physically demanding activities. the good doctor drug his acoustic guitar out to the living room and began making up cheesey folk songs. reverend toast, in between grueling pokemon battles, picked up a dilapidated artifact of a guitar and started making up cheesey solos to go along with the good doctors cheesey riffs. the cheesey motif worked to their satisfaction and was a welcome change from the punk rock they played in their previous endevors.

over the weeks of non-school attendence they played their songs for the good doctor's mom who totally dug them. this was a slight boost to their egos. they then returned to school to play some of their songs for their music teacher. he too engaged in the act of digging them. it was at this point the boys had a startling revelation:

the general populace were dopes who would regard the boys' boredom-bred tomfoolery as legitimate art! after discussing this over a banquet of hotpockets and diet cokes, they decided to become an actual band. they thought long and hard for a name that would describe their very souls and the music that spawned from their aforementioned souls. finally, they settled on "the sissy boy tea party patrons."

the sissy boy tea party patrons were an instant hit in japan. with sold out shows of 80 billion every weekend, the boys were more than men yet less than gods. after a concert one night, one of the eight totally hot japanese super fan groupie girls that rev. toast and the good doctor had just simotaniously scored with presented a compelling thought to them. she said, "you boys no need name like 'sissy boy tea party patrons'. you men. strong attractive men who very good in the sack. you need strong name. you warriors. music warriors." the boys at first thought this was a hallucination brought on by the ungodly amount of heroin they had done earlier. (they didn't really dig heroin, but they were rockstars so they had to. it's like a law or something.) after concurring with eachother that what they heard had indeed been said, they decided they liked it. they were titilated by the idea of masculinity being associated with them in any form and told the super hot girl to come up with a new name that conveyed this outlandish concept. she handed them a piece of paper with several japanese symbols on it. she then died of exhaustion due to the boys rockin so much in the sack as previously mentioned.

reverend toast and the good doctor took this piece of paper to a wise man that lived on a mountain in a shack with a goat and asked him what it said. translated into english the name was "the mighty warriors who do battle with strings of which there are six super music band." and so, as homage to the memory of the super hot dead girl, they came to be.

the dead girl episode (or the great hot girl killing scandal of 1999 as it came to be known) lost our heroes their japanese fan base. in another unfortunate turn, they were forced to change their name to "thee six string samurais" due to marketing constraints brought on by consumer test polls.

the good doctor and reverend toast continue traveling the land unleashing their special brand of sex, drugs, and easy listening adult contemporary neo-classical intergalactic bittersweet folk rock to this very day. in time, they hope to be good enough to be played in elevators. for now, they themselves play in elevators which has resulted in many a restraining order and has only further hindered their careers.

the end.

....or is it?

rock the parcel.

uh huh.

word.