tonite i decided it would behoove me to learn to breakdance. really well. cuz then i would be hanging out somewhere and someone would be like "who's that asshole?" and someone else would be like "oh that's toast" and then someone would be like "that guy looks like a total douche" and then someone else would be like "yea...but you should see him breakdance!" but then, if i was challenged on my breakdancing abilities, i would decline. i would say something like "naw, man, naw. not here." all ominous and shit. however, i would spontaneously break out and breakdance in totally inappropriate situations e.g.- funerals, wakes, in line at the dmv, my grandma's kitchen, and outside abortion clinics. and when i did people would be like "man, that guy's breakdancing is totally inappropriate at the moment...but totally kick-ass!!! wow!!!"

after mulling this over in my nogin for a couple hours tonite at work in an attempt to detach myself from the agregeous disco music raping my ear-holes during yet another fabulous "boogie knights" performence, i decided a totally kick-ass movie could come of all this. it would be called "breakdancing ninja goes to summer camp". think of the antics that would ensue!!! also, it's sequel would be called "breakdancing ninja saves christmas" and then the final movie in the holy trilogy would be "breakdancing ninja goes bananas". in that movie, the breakdancing ninja would be teamed up with a mischievious simian and hilarity/comical-adult-teste-injuring would abound!!! it might also take place in an upscale new york hotel cuz there would be lots of butlers to say "oh my word!" when the monkey destroyed yet another priceless vase.

also, tonite marco said "hey babe, i superfucking love you." and it ruled.