it has come to my attention that many of you are extremely scared of accidently crossing the monopoly money millionaires and therefore suffering our ungodly wrath. you have every right to feel this way. with our numbers and by extention power growing exponentially with every passing hour, it will be quite difficult to so much as walk down the street humming to yourself without gettin blasted in the melon. i have decided to provide you concerned citizens with a "code of conduct" so that you may avoid getting dropped and become, i think you'll find, a much better human being.

1.) stating that you only like the "old skool stuff" of a now popular teeny-bopper band does NOT make you any less of a slug-fucker. sticking up for any such band will result in a thorough ass-capping. (this does not apply to metallica...fuckin'a-right master of puppets)

2.) engaging in any act of appreciation of M.W.A. (midgets with attitude) will result in immediate cappage of assage.

3.) wearing an AFI hooded sweatshirt and putting a Link 80 button on your black dickies purse does not make you "punk." engaging in this activity will get your tonsils blown out your neck.

4.) engaging in any act of appreciation of jeff foxworthy, carrot top, gallagher, chris tucker, or martin lawrence will get you a chuck taylor to the forehead until there is no forehead to speak of. to make this easier on you...

5.) jeff foxworthy, carrot top, gallagher, chris tucker, and martin lawrence will have their mouths and anuses sewn shut. attempting to aide them or teach them sign language will result in a protracter to the back.

6.) newcastle is the greatest creation known to man and the streets will flow with it...unless they are flowing with your blood because you talked shit about newcastle.

7.) anyone found taking part in the 80's retro craze will have "right said fred" singles forced up their urethra.

8.) hot pockets are the second greatest creation known to man. anyone caught eating a hot pocket that could have been eaten by me will eat hot pockets that already have been eaten by me if you catch my drift.

9.) anybody that says dashboard confessional isn't ripping off old promise ring will have badgers bore into their bellybutton. (not only is this brutally effective, but it's also alliteration) furthermore, anybody that has the foolish audacity to say dashboard confessional is in fact good music will get their eye sockets fucked by each member of MxMxM.

10.) anyone refusing to rock the parcel will have their parcels rocked for them.

about the author -

reverend toast is a big money hussla who founded the monopoly money millionaires world domination alliance. you may want to fuck with him because of his fat nuts and bags of gold but keep in mind that he is a southwest shogun motherfucker that'll cut your scalp off and use the blood and tissue as a lubricant to ass-fuck your mom. he currently lives in posh-ass digs with 30 big titty nympho bitches in southwest reno, nevada.