paul has an entry on his diary entitled "if i can find a way to mary ozzy osbourn's daughter all my problems will be over." i have been laughing about that for the last ten minutes or so. paul is good people.

paul is the las vegas constant. he has worked in the same sammich shop and lived in the same apartment for god knows how long. he's had quite the managere of roommates and co-workers but they all come and go and he just stays. he always talks about quitting his job or moving out somewhere cool but he never will. i think that gets him down but i find it admirable. at least i always know where to find him.

here is a list of subject lines in e-mails from the good doctor which i found humorous:

* "when in doubt, do what hitler would have done...blame all of yer social and/or economic problems on a particular group of persons, and then stick 'em in an oven"

* "is that a gun in yer pocket or are you just happy to see me and by 'are you just happy to see me' i mean is that yer erect pen-15"

* "there's nothing quite like the sound of my nuts smacking against your ass in the morning"

* "me + your mom = baby jesus"

oh that's good stuff i do declare. and now a list of subject lines in e-mails i've sent to various folk:

* "dog eat dog eat cat eat mouse eat cheese"

* "floatin like a hovercraft, stingin like a bladder infection"

* "everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten"

* "the pit and the pendulum (and by pendulum of course i mean my fat swinging cock and by pit of course i mean your mouth)

* "butt touchers local union 35 newsletter"

* "i love you darling but you've got to let me eat your raisens"

fuck. the only reason i'm doing this is i got nothin to say right now. gaaaaaaaay saaaaaaaaauce. i'll update later.

rock the parcel.

uh huh.

word.