1) Eating Hotpockets(tm) make you more appealing to the opposite sex. Joining the taliban makes you less appealing. No one likes a hostile-plane-takin-over-crashin-planes-into-large-buildings-at-the-cost-of-many-lives kinda guy.

2) Joining the taliban pretty much means imminent death for you. Eating Hotpockets(tm) results in prolonged living and better health.

3) The guy who invented the Hotpocket(tm) will never ask you to hijack a plane and crash it into a big building resulting in the loss of many lives. The taliban will ask you to do that alot.

4) Hotpockets(tm) have delicious filling in many heavenly flavors. The taliban does not. Unless of course by "delicious filling in many heavenly flavors" you mean "the urge to crash planes into buildings resulting in the loss of many innocent lives and being pretty ok with that."

5) You do not have to wear a goofy towel on your head and grow a beard just to eat hotpockets(tm). The taliban is, however, all about that.

6) If you don't eat Hotpockets(tm), then it is a sign that you support the taliban. And in this day in age of psuedo patriotism, that could result in much lossage of life on your behalf.

That is all. Go show the taliban who is boss and consume some Hotpockets(tm) today!!!