good god man.

so i've been really into this comic strip called red meat for years now and whilst perusing the web pages associated with said comic i stumbled upon a page called "the red meat construction set." here's what it's all about: you take the characters already created by max cannon and add your own dialogue in three panels in a feeble attempt at humor. i found out there was a members section, supposedly of the most elite copyright infringers but to gain admittence to this, you had to submit a comic that they feel worthy of their page. i submitted this comic:

humor abounds mothers and fuckers!!!

they decided to let me join their ranks. (by the way, that is a link to the pic which should work for a while as long as it's still available on that page.) so i'm all excited and i'm whippin out comics left and right and you wouldn't fucking believe these people. i have never encountered a bigger group of d&d playin bahaus worshiping internet message board junkie pretentious slug-fuckers in my entire life. i'm sittin around beltin out what i feel to be genuine humor...not a fucking robert frost poem...but just plain "oh..haha..that's kinda funny" stuff. and these guys tear it to shreds and use big words they looked up in the dictionary to sound smarter than me. it's awesome and much more situationally humorous than the comics themselves. i suggest you go there and submit lots and lots of stuff. the red meat construction set. do it up, collective doug.

yea so anywho...my coffee is cold as shit and not to mention disgusting. although i just did mention it. what an odd saying.

speaking of odd sayings, yesterday i told m.c. laurie lau that i wanted to shove my fatty tuna roll down her pink slip-n-slide. where that business came from, i got no clue.

speaking of me insulting m.c. laurie lau, i once told her that if we crashed in the andes in a plane full of hotpockets i would eat her anyway.

speaking of hotpockets, they rock yer fungus, huh? yea, you know they do.

speaking of fungus, have you seen the commercials for "that 80's show?" i'm not sure how i feel about that shit. i keep telling myself i need to give it a chance, cuz when that 70's show came out i refused to watch it during it's first season cuz i thought it looked like the stupidest piece of retro marketing garbage in the solar system. then it turned out to be really funny. i think we should all give it a chance. "all" meaning the 3 people that read this.

speaking of the number 3, my friend muskrat has 3 nipples. well, not really. but sort of. his third nipple is only half formed. it's just like the actual nipple part...not the ring thing surroundin it. it's just kinda this little nubbin stickin out his man-boobie.

speakin of man-boobies, when i was delivering a package yesterday, i saw this totally old guy wearing one of those totally old faded half-see-through collared shirts that totally old guys wear and i could see through it because it was in fact see-through and what i saw-through it was a bright pink bra. them shits is humorous.

speaking of the shits, i got those today. that's what you get when all you consume in a day is budweiser, scotch and cranberry muffins.

speaking of muffins, my buddy big poonjabi got a face full of our friend meg's muffin. we went to high school with her and now she works in a strip joint and the poonjabber took me there and it was very funny. coincidently, there was this other girl we went to high school with too at the same place. so we were just sitting around with these totally cute girls from high school that thought we were lame then but cool now and having a good time and catching up on things and also they were nekkid. it rocked some serious parcel.

speaking of rocking the parcel...

rock the parcel.

uh huh.

word.