ummmm...oh yea. now i remember.

i'm not exactly sure at what point in society's steady retrograde midgets became cool. personaly, i blame austin powers. it may not say so in YM magazine but face it collective holmeslice, midgets are in.

i used to be able to sit down and have a good harty chuckle, not so much at the expense of, but in appreciation of the ludicrous/zany antics of the american midget. however, much like mullets (which is an entirely different yet somewhat similar rant) the media has malevolently bombarded me at nauseum with what i once found so delightful. and the world turns.

however i have found a practical use for the imagery of midgets that i still find to be chuckle-worthy even in this non-humorous midget infested wasteland of pop-culture.

it has recently come to my attention that although i may enjoy at great lengths the work of various hip-hop/r&b artists, due to my skin pigment and heritige it is not currently (and most likely never will be) socially sanctioned for me to use the word "nigga" when singing along to songs in which this word is found. doing so in a public area will cause my cracker ass to be promptly gutted, crotch to sternum like a rainbow trout, much to the mirth and amusement of passerbys. so in a cunning survival tactic, i have discovered the word "midget" not only satisfactorally takes place of the word "nigga", but also increases the potential for humor in any given song. for example:

midgets wanna be like pun

midgets wanna buss they guns

and it's so haaaard

midgets wanna fuck my wife

midgets wanna take my life

and it's so haaaard

so you see fellow white-bread cake-eating honkeys of the world, it is still possible for us to look goofy as fuck whilst attempting to non-rhythmically shake our collective anglo-saxon buttocks to the stylings of the one and only d.r.e./snoop/big pun/ez-e/humpty without the unfortunate side effect of death.

oh yes it shall be so.

rock the parcel.

uh huh.

word.