Sept. 21, 2005 - baby, don't fuck with icicles...

behold:  a chipmunk.

after an exhausting 5 1/2 month journey across the ocean in a raft made of twigs and the bones of his fallen brothers, this chipmunk's lifelong dream finally came true - he made it to america. "it's everything i dreamed it would be and more!" the chipmunk exclaimed. he walked with wonderment down the bustling streets of new york, jittering with excitement and anticipation. soon, he came across a friendly cherry salesman. "it's always been my dream to eat a cherry, " he swooned. "well pal, it's your lucky day, " the friendly cherry salesman said. "i have one cherry left and for you - it's on the house." the chipmunk couldn't believe his luck! what an amazing country!

he placed the cherry in his mouth and felt it's cool tender skin against his lips. he trembled with anticipation as he began to devour this amazing new fruit. unfortunately, the relatively massive cherry became lodged in the chipmunks throat and he died because he was a fucking idiot and didn't realize that when consuming something as big as your skull, you should at least chew it a little bit. but no - he just fucking went for it balls out like a total dumbass. and when you think about it, the world is a better place now that his retarded vacuous no-common-sense-havin ass is gone.
R.I.P. - the stupidest chipmunk ever

what the fuck was that? - what the fuck is that?

baby, don't fuck with icicles... - Sept. 21, 2005
cookies and soy milk just don't cut it - Mar. 30, 2005
i don't need to pay for dumbass "pre-stressed" jeans - i have a cat - Mar. 07, 2005
"sausage mcmuffin" is a very good name for a band - Dec. 06, 2004
get fucked. - Nov. 23, 2004