whoo-ha. ok...first of all i should mention that if any of you who read the last entry concerning dr. zaius communicate with rachel in any way, DO NOT mention his radical rodent self to her before tomorrow for i am giving him to her as a suprise on friday night when i get to vegas. i don't suppose it's the most romantic gift in the world...but whaddaya gonna do?

i was lookin at some of my old email accounts and their "sent" folders and i found this. it's a letter i sent to my roachie pie on december 24, 2000 when she lived in oklahoma. i dunno...i thought it was humorous.

rachellllllllllll~

hehe...i forget what you said in yer letter that offended me so. actually, it didn't offend me at all..it just made me feel like a huge ass. in fact, a huger ass than i feel like on a daily basis cuz as we all know, i AM a huge ass therfore have the feelings of said huge ass cuz i am one...a huge ass that is.

anyway...i just felt like sweating you for some reason so i hope i didn't offend YOU now. you did say something though that really got to me...i just don't remember what it was...i guess it didn't get to me too bad then...whatever doooooooood.....

so my little sweetie's an alkumoholik now, eh? yea yea, i figured you would be. you skuzzy hops and barley fermenting, beer bong hitting, frat boy cock suckin, toss yer salad for a drink mister? askin, red faced raging lush! aw...i still love you though. now, when we get married, you can be the wife that sits around in her robe with her hair up smoking her menthol cigarette and sipping her martini at 10 in the morning when i come home from night shift at the plant, kick the dog, and yell at you fer not makin muh goddamned breakfast. so happy togetheeeeeeerrrrrr! i can't see me beatin nobody but you...for all my lifeeeeeeeeeeee!!! sing with me! i guess i'm the only one who thinks its funny. hmm. whatever dood.

yea...i guess i'm renewin my lease so that means yer just gonna have to come up and stay with me fer a while. that's all there is to that.

well...as much as i just had things to say pouring out of me, they just stopped. like, i suddenly feel as if there's nothing to say. except to try to explain why i have nothing to say. but that's not interesting. i think i'm gonna go.

i

love

yer

martain

ass.

t r e n t

p.s. martain ass?

hmmmmm....on second thought...maybe that all wasn't as funny as i thought it was a couple minutes ago. well...the middle part is kinda chuckle worthy. i dunno. i'll write something decent later. whatever dood.

rock the parcel.

uh huh.

word.