rule #1
do not talk about smoking and how much you enjoy it. if you want people to know how cool and tough you are, just have a cigarette instead of yapping about it.

rule #2
when smoking, do not talk about how good the cigarette tastes. of course it tastes good...it's a cigarette...which does in fact taste good. the only exception to this is if perhaps you were stranded on a desert island for 5 years without cigarettes and, due to technological revolutions in the tobacco industry, their taste has dramatically changed for the better during your absence. this would be a keen observation on your part.

rule #3
no cigarettes in mosh pits. we all know cigarettes make you look tough. however, we can all see that you're tough already by the way you just stomped on that 14 year old kid's head in the pit. don't over do it.

rule #4
cloves are gay, fuck-o.

rule #5
the "french inhale" is a parlor trick for comedic value only. it does not actually make you look cool. quite the opposite, it makes you look french.

rule #6
cadets in boot camp do not tell war stories. similarly, if you have been smoking for 6 months, do not fondly reminisce about your first cigarette.

rule #7
do not be a brand nazi. especially when bumming smokes. if you salute to camel turkish golds and when you ask me for a smoke i give you a basic light, either smoke it and shut up or smoke my cock.