i'm a firm believer in that you haven't really lived until you've gone careening down the freeway at 4 in the morning, slightly drunk, singing along with queen at the top of your feeble lungs.
p.s. - i've lived a lot.

tomorrow night is fuckin deicide! as if that weren't up to par with beyond kick-ass, goatwhore and cattle decapitation are opening for them! motherfucking metal like a motherfucking motherfucker, motherfucker!!! yea!!!

the computer i'm on right now is on the korean language setting. related story: i have a headache.

weeping willows need to fuckin suck it up, man.

oh yea, i almost forgot. i met clint eastwood at my work last night. i was on the cargo elevator and he got on and it took me a minute to realize it was him but when i did i was like "holy fucking clint eastwood, batman!" but not out loud. however, i did audibly say "er, uh, mr. eastwood?" and he said "shum-a-gur-ul-uh-buff" and i said "it's really great to meet you" and i shook his hand and he said "murf-uh-luh-cumb-oh-flam" cuz he's fucking old as shit. he looks like one of those foldy dogs. i think they're called shar-peis.

oh shit. hear me now. so me n nacho came up with a totally rad idea for a movie. it's called "weekend at lazarus' tomb". it's basically the exact same plotline as "weekend at bernie's" except we go back in time and do the whole thing with the expired corpse of jesus christ. we fool the simple folk of the period into believing that jesus has risen from the dead but in all actuallity, we're just manipulating his remains like a hilarious puppet and partying hardy! score!
also, jesus has sunglasses and kick-ass hawaiian shorts.