ok, so i'm staying at my parent's house for a month and it totally kicks all kinds of ass cuz they got bad-ass food and a cable modem and dvds up the yin-yang and i'm psyched and bummed cuz i'm gonna end up celebrating my 23rd birthday in my parent's house and that seems just a little uncool. but despite this, i've been having a good time (i'm a rocketshiip on my way to mars - on a collision course - i'm a satalite - i'm outta control....queen rules my asshole but not literally cuz freddy's dead) until this morning when i went out for a smoke and saw this on the wall. i was mildly disturbed by it but then i foolishly decided to take a picture of it and realized it looked like this:

holy fucking shit dood! what in the mother fuck! no! that's not cool! that's not even yer run of the mill super deadly black widow! this is like some kind of prehistoric beast with a poor outlook on life that wishes to feast upon my innards so that it may live another thousand years! whack as shit, yo! this is how i looked when i first discovered the bio-atrocity:

notice my dog is cool as a cucumber. he really keeps me grounded in situations like this. too bad he has nothing to offer on my 8-10 page essay on the development of west-coast slang for my anthropology linguistics class that's due in a week (and also i haven't even started on). what a dick.
by the by, the subject line is a sentence i heard spewed from the mouth of some lady whose name i'll never remember from NPR. i found it to be humorous x237. you probably should too. cuz why not?